You don't need a sit-down conversation. You don't need his permission. You just need to know his size.
If you've noticed the signs — a damp patch in the laundry, a change in how often he goes, the way he scopes out the nearest toilet when you're out — you're probably already one step ahead of him.
Men don't tend to flag these things. Not to their partners, not to their doctor, and certainly not to themselves. It's not denial exactly. It's more that the gap between noticing something and doing something about it can stay wide open for years.
Which is where you come in.
Why he probably hasn't sorted it himself
Men visit the doctor less often than women — and when they do go, bladder issues rarely make the list. It's the kind of thing that gets filed under I'll deal with it later, and later keeps getting pushed out.
That's not weakness. It's just how a lot of men are wired around this stuff. The embarrassment of the problem gets tangled up with the embarrassment of admitting the problem, and the whole thing just sits there.
David, the founder of AvidBody, found himself in exactly that position. "I noticed the odd leak and just quietly started avoiding light-coloured trousers," he says. "I wasn't going to bring it up with anyone. I just adapted around it — until I found Frank's Pants and realised there was a much better option."
He liked them enough to become New Zealand's authorised reseller. That's the short version.
What to look for in the laundry
You don't need to ask him anything. The laundry tells you most of what you need to know.
- Small patches, most days — The Active ($44) holds up to 15ml. Good for light daily dribble, post-void leaks, or the odd splash.
- Variable patches, sometimes heavier — The Everyday ($49) holds up to 50ml. Covers more, works for longer periods away from a bathroom.
- Heavier leakage, or he's had prostate treatment — The Ultra ($59) comes with swappable absorbent pads holding up to 150ml total. The one for men who need real backup.
If you're not sure, go with The Everyday. It covers the middle ground well.
Getting the size right
Check the label on a pair of his existing underwear while the wash is on. Frank's Pants follows standard sizing — S, M, L, XL, XXL. Same as normal underwear, same fit. No specialist sizing, nothing clinical-looking.
Order that size, unless he's between sizes or likes a relaxed fit — in which case go one up. The fit runs slightly small, and a size up sits comfortably rather than baggy because the fabric moves with him.
And if you still get it wrong, it's not a drama. As long as the pair hasn't been worn against the skin, we'll swap it for a different size. Just email sales@avidbody.co.nz.
Wash it once first
One normal wash — 30 to 40 degrees, no fabric softener, line dry. This activates the absorbent layers and lifts the factory finish, so the first time he wears it, it works properly.
Full Care Notes at our Care Guide
How to give them to him
Leave them on the bed, put them in his drawer, or hand them over with something like: "I got you these — apparently they're really comfortable."
That's it. No big conversation required.
Most men put them on, realise they feel completely normal, and quietly add them to the rotation. The relief tends to speak for itself.
One thing worth knowing
Leakproof underwear manages the symptom. If he has pain, blood in his urine, a noticeably weak stream, or is getting up several times a night, it's worth encouraging a GP visit. Those things can have straightforward causes — but they're worth checking.
The rest is simple
Frank's Pants are available at AvidBody — New Zealand's only authorised reseller. They look like normal underwear, wash like normal underwear, and unless he reads the label, he won't know they're anything different.
Which is rather the point.
Shop Frank's Pants at AvidBody →
Adapted with permission from an original article by Mackie Newton at Frank's Pants.